


I accidentally set your plant on fire

by eotteonsaram



Series: Plants and photos (adventures of Min Yoongi) [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Comedy, Epic Bromance, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8501221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eotteonsaram/pseuds/eotteonsaram
Summary: “Hel-”“Hoseok, hi, I left my cactus on the radiator in my room, can you just move it so it doesn’t dry up by the time I'm back? Thanks man you're the best, bye!” Hoseok swore he never heard Yoongi speak so fast in his life“Your what? On the radiator? Yoongi…?" The other side was beeping. Yoongi hung up.





	1. Meet Pipin (A.K.A. Min Yoongi has a plant?!)

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a joke, when I asked my friend to pick one of the oddly specific AUs no one asked for and a pairing (http://eotteonsaram.tumblr.com/post/133862181176/caprxgers-some-oddly-specific-aus-that-no-one)
> 
> Mind you, this was almost a year ago, and this ficlet has been sitting in my notes, unfinished, for a really really long time.  
> No sex, no romance, no ships - for once, its a "slice of life" kind of fic I guess, and also for once I'm not going to hell for the smut I wote.  
> I repeat: **NO SMUT/SEX/ROMANCE WHATSOEVER IN THIS FIC SORRY.**
> 
> The AU she chose was: _"i accidentally set your plant on fire and i felt super guilty so i went to the store to buy you another plant but they ran out of the plant that you had and i didn’t know what other kind of plant you liked so i may or may not have bought you enough plants to fill a small greenhouse?"_
> 
> The pairing she chose was: _Yoonseok_

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the station?” Hoseok peeked through the bedroom door, the green cup of steaming hot tea in his hands perfectly contrasting his red Rudolph pajama.  
“Yeah, Hoseok, as sure as I was the last time you asked me. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the time before that as well.” Yoongi replied, struggling with the zipper on his backpack.  
“I just thought you needed help with those bags or something. Did you pack the lunchbox I made you?"  
"Yes, Hoseok, I did." Yoongi confirmed, for the third time that day  
"Say hi to your mom from me, and don't forget to write down her kimchi recipe!” Hoseok was jolly nevertheless, seemingly disregarding the human pile of grumpiness next to him  
"Yes, Hoseok, I will."  
“Oh and call me when you're in Daegu so I don't worry! And make sure you get a taxi home, it's cold this time of year and-"  
Yoongi stood up to his full height, eying Hoseok, the bag left half open on the bed. Hoseok took a step back away from the door, a huge goofy grin on his face.  
“I'm just trying to look out for you. You're so small and those bags look heavy.”  
“Are you trying to imply I'm weak?” Even at his full height, Yoongi was a little shorter than Hoseok, which the latter was always happy to point out. Of course, that didn’t mean Hoseok shouldn’t handle an agitated Yoongi with caution, even though Hoseok was arguably faster and more agile than Yoongi, who was more often described with words like “grandpa” and “sleepy”  
“Nooo…” Hoseok backed away more, grinning “I mean you are weak, but that was not what I was aiming for”  
Yoongi sighed. He didn’t have time nor the will to deal with Hoseok right now, but he made a mental note to eat all Hoseok’s seaweed soup (that Seokjin would periodically send, after seeing the sad state of their fridge).  
“You're an idiot Hoseok. I'll be fine, just” Yoongi motioned for Hoseok to come over “help me with this dumb thing and I'll be on my way."  
Five minutes of fidgeting with the zipper later, Hoseok was sitting on Yoongi’s, now finally zipped, suitcase with a plaster on his index finger. Yoongi was wrapping his huge knitted scarf around himself, his neck and torso slowly disappearing under the wool.  
"The lens I was telling you about should come by Wednesday next week, so just pick it up, please? I've written down the model and the number of their customer support so if anything is wrong just call them” Yoongi muttered through at least 5 layers of wool, pointing at the paper on his desk. Hoseok nodded, slightly pouting at the adhesive patch on his finger, still planted on Yoongi’s suitcase.  
“I should be back befo - Hoseok get off the bag! - before New Year’s Eve so if Namjoon is still planning that party count me in. And if they call from work tell them to fuck off.”  
“Anything for you hyung. Anything else?” Hoseok feigned politeness  
“Stay out of my room and don’t burn the place down.” Yoongi bit back at his friend’s mockery.  
Hoseok inhaled dramatically, covering his mouth dramatically.  
“You trust me so little hyung?”  
“Hoseok, you burned our pot while making tea.” Yoongi stated, still in slight disbelief from that episode.  
“You have a point, okay.” Hoseok shrugged.  
Yoongi had left their street with Hoseok yelling goodbyes from their window, waving so hard it looked like he was going to fly off into space at one point. The apartment felt empty now that Yoongi went back home for the holidays, even though Yoongi was never really loud or active or actually much of a presence in the apartment. The only signs of life from him were occasional groans and faint sound of music coming from his bedroom and Hoseok’s special Brazilian ground coffee bag getting emptied overnight sometimes, while Yoongi worked on his art, be it music or photography.  
Yoongi loved photography. He absolutely lived for it. He would save for months just to be able to get a new camera or a better lens and then disappear for days at a time in the park or on the streets or just anywhere he found worth photographing at. The walls in their apartment were white and empty when Hoseok moved in, but every now and then, when Yoongi would let him, Hoseok would go through the photos and choose a few new ones they'd develop and frame.  
Hoseok was less of an artsy soul, his main hobby being a little screaming sunshine. He practiced dance in his free time, building quite a reputation around the girls in his dancing group as both the cutest and the loudest guy in the group. He met Yoongi at work, the moldy dry-cleaners they both worked at for a few months. Even though sloth Yoongi was a direct opposite of hyperactive Hoseok, the two somehow clicked. When Hoseok had to leave his uni dorm, Yoongi offered him a place to stay, saying he's short on money and needs someone to split the rent with. Later, Hoseok found out Yoongi had just gone through a bad break up, and his ex had just moved out. That explained the shattered mirror in the bathroom missing chair in the kitchen, but Hoseok never asked.  
Hoseok sighed, staring at the fridge, rubbing circles over his stomach. The fridge was full for once, but he really didn't feel like eating any of the food in it. He was bored and sleepy and he needed chocolate. Halfway through building his pillow fort for the movie night he had planned for himself (after getting some sweets from the store), his phone rang.  
“Hel-”  
“Hoseok, hi, I left my cactus on the radiator in my room, can you just move it so it doesn’t dry up by the time I'm back? Thanks man you're the best, bye!” Hoseok swore he never heard Yoongi speak so fast in his life  
“Your what? On the radiator? Yoongi…?" The other side was beeping. Yoongi hung up.  
Hoseok was left dumbfounded, sitting in a pile of pillows he rummaged from around the apartment, trying to process Yoongi’s words. He got up in disbelief-why would motionless Min have a plant when he can barely take care of himself but then again it is a cactus so it probably doesn't need taking care of but he did leave it on the radiator-and crept to Yoongi’s room. He half expected it to be a joke, like a jump scare or a hidden camera, but as he cautiously inspected the room for potential pranks, he noticed a small potted cactus with a small pink flower on top, on the radiator. Hoseok was delirious.  
Hobi :) - 10.32  
Yoongi why is there a cactus on the radiator in your room?  
  
Min Suga - 10.39  
did you take it off  
don't let it dry up  
  
Hobi :) - 10.39  
I did  
But why?  
  
Min Suga - 10.43  
it was cute and i need smth small to pic  
w my new lens   
  
Hobi :)- 10.45  
Dickpicks weren't an option?  
  
Hobi :) 10.46  
Also “It was cute”?? LOL  
  
Min Suga - 10.46  
1st of all fuck u.  
2nd i thought maybe  
  
Min Suga - 10.47  
to take pics or ur cock  
but i wsnt sure if the camera  
would work with a microscope  
  
Min Suga - 10.52  
u asshole.  
  
Hoseok was smirking, counting this as a win on his side.  
“So Yoongi left you on the radiator, huh? Well Hoseok hyung will take good care of you!” he promised, throwing his best "chu" face at the small cactus.


	2. Holiday leave (A.K.A. Even googly eyes look sad on you)

Things fell together after that. Hoseok carried the cactus around the house with him, to have someone to talk to. Sure, it was impractical and he'd pricked himself more than once, but the cactus-Pipin, how he named it after a J. R. Tolkien marathon-was his friend now, and he didn't want his friend to feel lonely. Somewhere deep in his head there was a voice telling him he's either insane or 5, but Hoseok was so bored by the empty space he was left in he couldn't be bothered to stop.  
By Friday that week Hoseok and Pipin had already watched all the Harry Potter and Matrix movies, started catching up on GoT episodes and had an argument over Walking Dead. Mid loading the new AHS episode Hoseok realized he hadn't really left the house for 3 days now and he needed some air. He decided against whatever gruesome and horrifying thing Ryan Murphy and the crew had in store for him in the next 45 minutes, and instead took Pipin for a run, feeling it wasn't fair to leave the little plant in the stuffy apartment. When Hoseok was called in for work on Sunday (apparently one of the employees had gotten “sick” just in time for one of the biggest electronic dance parties thrown this side of the city, which was coincidentally her favorite type of “music”, what a coincidence!, so he'd been called back from his HOLIDAY LEAVE!!!, as he bitched to Pipin for at least 40 minutes), he put Pipin in a small decorated paper bag and carried him with.  
Sure, by now some of the thorns were broken (most of the injuries caused by falling off the kitchen counter a few times while Hoseok was cooking), for which Hoseok apologized extensively and got Pipin some politeness googly eyes as an apology. The flower was still intact and pink as ever so Hoseok didn't think Yoongi would mind. Ever so often he would send Yoongi selfies with Pipin, to which Yoongi would reply hours later, lazily noting that “ur crazy Hobi”.  
Christmas week rolled around, Christmas itself coming on a Friday. Yoongi's new lens had arrived on Tuesday, and Hoseok and Pipin picked it up, on the way to the craft store. Hoseok picked up some supplies for Pipin’s Christmas make over and the apartment decoration. He made Pipin a Santa hat and a scarf, glued on a bigger pair of googly eyes as well as some beads that stood for Christmas ornaments. He also decorated the plastic Christmas tree and the living room, color-coordinating them with Pipin, but also his Christmas pajama of choice.  
He ended up working 3 more days that week, which almost kicked the Christmas spirit right out of him, until the boss promised to give Hoseok a full week extra of holiday leave in January for his trouble. Hoseok turned into a literal ray of sunshine after that. He decided he should visit his family for Christmas as well, traveling there on Christmas Eve after work. Packing, Hoseok realized he can't really bring Pipin with the excuse of “taking care of a friends plant”, when it was a "goddamn cactus Hoseok it's not like you have you have to take extra special care of it otherwise it wouldn't've been Yoongi's plant". He felt bad, leaving Pipin like that on the kitchen table, but he figured staying in the warm room for a few days would do him better than the dry cold and snow outside.  
Hoseok’s Christmas was fun. It was nice seeing his parents again and spending time with his sister. He ate a lot of home cooked food he missed and his mom packed at least a years’ worth of leftovers for him to carry back. He made sure to take loads of pictures for Yoongi, who had never traveled to Gwanju (and also kind of for Pipin, to make up for not bringing him along). He got on the train back to Seoul with bags heavier than they were when he was coming, dish containers and presents taking up so much space, his mom had to provide another bag.

Back in Seoul, Hoseok found Pipin right where he left him, on the kitchen table. Left googly eye had fallen off at one point and Hoseok thought the one eyed cactus looked quite sad. He tried to shrug off the feeling of guilt as he put Pipin’s face back in place.  
“It is cold outside. It wouldn’t have been good for you to be out in this weather.” he said, frowning at Pipin “Plus the train was crowded, with everyone traveling back home after the weekend. Don't look at me like that…"  
Pipin still looked quite miserable, at least in Hoseok’s opinion. Unpacking, he decided he should do something for Pipin, to cheer him up a little. He couldn’t have Yoongi’s plant looking miserable after all, and in all honesty he was kind of attached to the little thing as well. He was tired from the travel and the seeming metric ton of stuff he was carrying from his parents’ house, but he didn’t want his prickly friend not to feel Christmas-y. Plus, Hoseok figured, you can never be too tired for crafting.  
“Fine, if hyung promises not to leave you alone until Yoongi hyung comes back will you forgive me? I’ll make you cuter decorations too!” Hoseok smiled and Pipin must have fallen for Hoseok’s cuteness because soon enough the pair was inseparable again. Hoseok showed him vacation pictures and all the food his mom sent. After unpacking and cleaning the pigsty he left, he devoted his time to the tedious task arranging the presents he brought from home for Yoongi (the “lovely young man” his mom was greatly impressed by, after seeing the family photos he took when the Jung’s came to visit Hoseok last spring), Namjoon (another “lovely young man” his mother was greatly impressed with, although Hoseok was pretty baffled as to why), Seokjin (the “lovely young man who made the best seaweed soup and kept her son well fed”) and Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung.  
The latter three were kids next door that kind of snuck their way into Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s friend group about a year ago, when they found out Yoongi did music and Hoseok held dancing classes periodically. Even though they were years younger than Hoseok, Jungkook still being a high schooler, they fit in. Apparently the three of them came to Seoul to study, wanting to be an architect, a police man and a saxophone star (or a sexy porn star, Hoseok was never sure with that kid) respectively. After the family lunch Hoseok had with both of his families combined (the Jung’s and the friends he made in Seoul), his mom basically adopted the youngest three, getting a little emotional after remembering how Hoseok also left home for education when he was “too young to leave his mom”.  
While at it, Hoseok decided to gift wrap everything he picked out for the guys and put it under the tree as well, and by the time he was done and was supposed to bring the food to the boys next door, it was already close to midnight. That didn’t seem to bother the three, as Hoseok could hear the clatter of bowls and cutlery as soon as he left the apartment, along with some cheering and laughter. Yoongi was supposed to come on Tuesday, and since it was almost Monday, Hoseok also had some cleaning to do, to cover up that he basically pigged out most of his time alone, under pillow forts and blankets, in front of the TV.  
Finally sitting down at the kitchen table again, Hoseok realized he had completely forgotten about the promise he made to Pipin some six hours ago.  
“Time to pimp you up then… Sleep is for the weak, anyways” Hoseok said yawning. The mess he made wrapping the gifts was still on the living room floor anyway, so it’s not like he was creating more work for the clean up tomorrow.


	3. The electric kettle story (A.K.A. sometimes Namjoon, the good of destruction, comes in handy)

Pipin was put on the living room table, as Hoseok picked out pretty ribbons and paper decoration to put on the festive little plant. Soon enough Pipin looked like a mini art installation, full of sequins, glitter, ribbons, paper snowflakes and paper bows. Hoseok was pretty proud of his overall work, even though his pants were full of glitter and glue, and ribbons he cut left frayed, leaving loose fiber all over. Feeling celebratory, he decided to reward himself with a cup of chocolate vanilla rooibos tea, his sister brought from Europe.  
The electric kettle had been broken for a while - a consequence of Namjoon’s first visit to the apartment, apparently, when he tried making a very sad, very dumped Yoongi some consolation tea and instead ended up knocking it and the cups over in an unceremonious attempt to console Yoongi with a hug. Yoongi was otherwise quite bad at showing emotion – that was the first time Namjoon had seen him cry in the years of their friendship, so Namjoon was quite surprised when a tearful Yoongi appeared in the kitchen to witness the chaos and destruction Namjoon had caused. Instead of getting angry or sad, Yoongi cracked up laughing.  
The story was, as Yoongi explained through laughter, that the kettle and the cups (and most of the kitchenware) were his exes. They ended up sitting on the floor, in the middle of the mess, catching up after too long – Yoongi’s girlfriend found Namjoon “unbearable and dorky” and with time she effectively crossed the line between plain nagging about Namjoon to straight up prohibiting Yoongi from hanging out with him, even on his own.  
Catching up, in turn, developed into a drunken and deeply emotional conversation, in which Yoongi confessed that all her things – the pink plates, the generic art she put on the walls, the decorative vases and towels and candles he had strategically placed all around the apartment – were suffocating Yoongi, without him even realizing. He was supposed to get rid of it, but he couldn’t, fearing it would hurt him even more if the apartment was empty. Namjoon’s chaos proved his fears wrong, as seeing her favorite cup smashed on the floor felt liberating.  
This, naturally, begged the conclusion that they should destroy every last remnant of her – it had been almost a month since she left with her 20 years older (and married) economics professor, and if she really wanted the stuff she could have already gotten them by this time. The guy was loaded anyways and the junk in the apartment wasn’t irreplaceable. That weekend Namjoon and Yoongi packed everything up, donating anything Namjoon hadn’t managed to smash to a shelter for women who endured domestic violence.  
Her favorite things didn’t live to see another day though – the creepy porcelain doll and a set of glass ornaments were accidentally – as Namjoon said, smugly – smashed in the mayhem of packing. After the two came back from the shelter, the real party begun – anything even remotely fragile was broken, shuttered or smashed. Anything that could burn was gathered into huge plastic bags and driven off to an abandoned parking lot, where Yoongi almost ritually burned it at a makeshift bonfire – all her clothes, her stupid pillows, the sheets she bought for Christmas… even her usual chair was burned at the sight. Yoongi even went so far as to take the bathroom cabinet off of the wall (cracking the mirror in the process).  
The morning after the apartment was full of debris, walls were empty and the living room was missing a few pieces of furniture, but Yoongi was finally feeling well enough to leave his bedroom, even with a hangover, and that was really something.  
So by the time Hoseok moved in, the electric kettle was gone. Yoongi didn’t oppose getting a new one, but he also never had tea. Hoseok had only recently gotten into the whole drinking tea being hipster kind of thing and even after the pot burning incident he insisted an electric kettle was an unnecessary investment. Yoongi disagreed, purely worried about his laptop, cameras and lenses, but then he also swore to avenge them if anything like that ever happened and something he owned got destroyed. By the look on Hoseoks face, Yoongi was pretty sure Hoseok wasn’t going to start any fires any time soon.  
“Can you believe they make tea out of chocolate and vanilla these days?” Hoseok asked his prickly friend, putting the newest kettle on the stove. Pipin was planted on the counter, the bluish light of the flame from the stove dancing over the glitter on him.  
“We didn’t have things like this when I was a kid. Only green tea, and you can’t drink that as a kid...” Hoseok yawned again. It was around 2 AM, and he had been awake for around 20 hours. He pulled up a chair and leaned on the table, laying his head on the surface. Waiting for the water to boil was always the most boring part of making tea, and it always seemed to take forever.


	4. Well shit (A.K.A. Bultaoreune!)

Hoseok didn’t know where he was or why or how, but something smelled like danger and that’s what ultimately woke him up. The rings of the wooden table top were etched into his cheek, and his eyes were groggy. Something in the air was making his throat and lungs sting, and he coughed. He wasn’t sure how long he was sleeping, but it had to be a lot since the room was brighter than he remembered, the light quivering and dancing on the walls like it had been on Pipin a while ago.  
Hoseok jerked up.  
“Oh shit! Oh shit ohshit ohshitohshit”  
The handle of the new and shiny pot was already melting off, the hot plastic dripping right into the flames and burning. The kitchen rag was smoldering next to it, while a roll of kitchen towels produced a bright yellow flame. The ceramic cup and the countertop were still seemingly intact, although something was burning next to it.  
“PIPIN! Oh shit oh fuck oh crap Pipin”  
Hoseok threw the flaming cactus in the sink, directly under the water stream. The flame was extinguished in a matter of seconds, but Hoseok was sure Pipin was a goner. The rest of the kitchen was still burning, however, and Hoseok didn’t really have time to mourn.  
The clock read 6.30. Hoseok had been awake for the past three hours (give or take). Most of the water he dumped on the burning site excessively, had been wiped off. He removed the molten plastic off of the stove and the counter – at first it was hard, as the gooey mass was really sticky and hard to work with and Hoseok did manage to burn his fingers a little, but as the plastic cooled down rapidly Hoseok found it was easier to scrape it off in one piece. All the surfaces in the kitchen were scrubbed clean – even the black ring left by the burning kitchen towel roll from hell.  
Hoseok figured he was about to clean today anyway, so he extended the scrubbing to the living and bath rooms, opening all the windows in the apartment (all four of them) to remove the smell of smoke and shame Hoseok felt. Everything was finally clean and Hoseok’s adrenalin rush was slowly fading. In all his frantic scrubbing, one place was completely neglected.  
The kitchen sink was full of ash and charred plastic. A black cactus shaped lump was lying on the bottom of the sink. Hoseok couldn’t make himself go near the place, let alone look at it. He sat at the kitchen table again, miserable. He wasn’t sure how bad it was, or if the cactus was going to be able to survive. He felt bad for almost burning down the building again, sure, but he also felt bad for burning his prickly friend. The real grief set in after he realized this was actually Yoongi's plant. He will never hear the end of this (if he survives, of course).  
Hoseok moped around the apartment, trying to make himself check the sink. After a dozen failed tries, he decided to nap instead, waking up as the sun was setting. Pipin hadn’t moved from his sink resting place, Hoseok determined. He felt bad, but his rational mind was arguing that cacti were strong plants, if they managed to occupy places like deserts – surely one measly kitchen fire wouldn’t hurt them? He decided to google “burning cactus”, to calm his mind, because “cacti definitely can’t burn Hoseok, how could they”, but a quick search proved him very wrong. There was nothing left but to face the charred consequences.  
Pipin looked better than Hoseok had hoped – sure, all his thorns were gone, and instead of green and shiny, the surface of the plant was a sickly mix of black and gray, slightly wrinkled up and just all around sad, but it still looked like a plant. It still looked like a cactus – Pipin hadn’t shriveled up, and even if his pink flower was gone, he still looked like he had some life in him. There was still some glitter on the surface, even though Hoseok was sure he scraped off most of the sequins and googly eyes that melted off the counter. Taking the plant in his hands after a detailed wash, he realized the Christmas ornaments he put on Pipin – the elaborate and flammable paper garlands – were probably what caught on fire. He wanted to beat himself up about it, but he honestly loved how the small thing looked with those decorations. Plus, he was pretty sure Yoongi was going to do some serious beating up real soon anyways.  
This wasn’t something Yoongi could take photos of. Pipin and his pot were more or less ruined, and apart from losing all his prickles Pipin had black marks left inside the wrinkles on his surface that Hoseok could just not clean off, no matter how hard he tried. Even with another pair of googly eyes and some silver pipe cleaners around his base, Pipin still looked sad. Hoseok sat on the sofa, staring at the plant situated in a tea cup for the time being, looking even sadder. The final blow to Hoseok’s sunken mood was the thought the disappointed look Yoongi was probably going to have, finding out his guinea pig for the newest lens was gone. Sure, it was just a measly cactus, he thought, but he also knew hum much joy photography – especially nature kind of thing – made Yoongi happy. He got up before dawn to take skyline photos, for fucks sake. Hoseok couldn’t handle being the ruiner of Christmas for his friend.


	5. Shoppingspree (A.K.A. green is the new black)

There was still some sunlight outside when Hoseok stepped out into the cold – with some luck, he would get to the garden center well within working hours. Pipin needed a new pot anyways, and Hoseok was set on getting him a girlfriend. A cute little plant or two will surely be enough for Yoongi. The apartment was too empty anyways.  
The garden center was, however, not equipped with anything nearly as prickly as an ordinary cactus, Hoseok realized, lost in an aisle of petunias. As panic set in, Hoseok decided to be determined instead. The crumpled paper in his jacket had the information about the model of Yoongi’s lens, and a quick internet search gave Hoseok enough info for his search. Since the shop was out of cute and small cacti, he was out to find anything small and intricately detailed, that Yoongi could use his new “macro” lens on. Hoseok set off another 5 minutes of his time to educate himself more on the subject of macro lenses, to make sure he wouldn’t miss any important details. Half of the terms used in the article were unfamiliar to him, but he got the general gist of it – use a macro lens to take photos of really small stuff and/or from really close up – hence the small and very prickly cactus.

Hoseok promised himself he would make sure to find all the beautifully detailed plants and hand pick only the best ones for Yoongi’s experiments, as he walked down the aisle, pushing his cart. Hell, he was ready to learn how to garden for this – one measly kitchen fire is not going to stand between Jung Hoseok and bringing other people happiness.  
An hour later, Hoseok was filling a cab with potted plants. The delivery truck was supposed to come by the place by 7 PM, which gave Hoseok enough time to get home. Sure, this had cost him a small fortune (all the money he earned by working extra hours for the past 2 months to be exact), but Hoseok was so guilt-driven he didn’t care one bit.

“The apartment is too empty anyways” Hoseok kept repeating to himself, standing in the crowded living room, bewildered. Pipin was placed on the TV, the only flat (albeit very thin) surface not covered in potted plants. A small maze was created on the floor, as the plants were brought in, and with every new plant delivered less and less of the floor was actually visible. Eventually, Hoseok was forced to watch his every step, walking on his toes most of the time. The couch was hidden under pots and leaves (and the occasional lump of dirt that fell out). Thankfully, Hoseok had the clarity of mind to roll the small white carpet up and put it in the corner of the room for safety – god knows how he would salvage it otherwise. The very kitchen counter crime scene from yesterday was completely overtaken by green. The entire thing was a bit overwhelming, in a “what have I done” and “this is your life now, Hoseok, you are going to spend the rest of your days tending the greenery here” kind of way.

Hoseok wasn’t a botanist – obviously – and his only significant success in taking care of plants was not killing his neighbors beloved potted parlour palm (called Susan), when he was house-sitting for the summer, a few years back. Granted, Susan the potted parlour palm didn’t exactly need a lot of attention and Hoseok had been given 3 page essay on the needs and wants of Susan. This… this was an entirely different bag of goodies.

The plants surrounding the mildly panicked boy came in all sizes and shapes. Some plants had flowers – big and almost pleated flowers with small intricate insides or small and simple ones that came in groups or alone. Some flowers were a parade of petals and colors and shapes and sizes, loud and attention-grabbing. Others were small and simple and modest but still enchanting and almost cute. Other plants, however, had no apparent flowers – the leaves, Hoseok was surprised to notice, still came in such a huge array of different features, many of which were art-worthy. Some had massive leaves, held by strong stems, with surface full of small white fibers that glimmered in the light and reminded Hoseok of hair. Some leaves had thin and fragile leaves laced with tendrils and almost transparent in the light. Some leaves had a shiny, almost oily surface in a bright and lively green. Others, on the other hand, were streaked with dark red and dark green, looking like eternal autumn. Some plants even had big leaves formed by loads and loads of small leaves and one particular plant Hoseok decided to adopt, had it’s smaller leaves shy away and close at the slightest touch, only to open them back up after a few moments (which proved to be unbelievably fun to watch).

Hoseok sighed. Nothing was ever going to be accomplished by him just standing there (poking a potted plant). “The apartment is too empty anyways” Hoseok repeated out loud again, persuading himself that: a) there definitely is enough space in their small apartment for all the plants and b) his newly found love for plants (that he forced onto himself) might be a good hobby for both of the people living in the apartment. If he was going to live with the plants (which meant the plants were to stay alive), he was going to have to learn about them. Maybe even write three page essays about their wants and needs, like his neighbor did for Susan.

So Hoseok busted out some paper, post its and his phone, determined as ever.

Every potted plant came with a small and colorful piece of cardboard, with the plants name (in latin, of all things, Hoseok remarked) and a two sentence introduction on the plants likes and dislikes. In a way, it was almost a dating-site bio kind of thing – Name: Sempervivum tectorum, likes: long walks on the beach and hot, dry places, dislikes: waking up early and copious amounts of water. Hoseok took the small Sempervivum tectorum (or common houseleek, as google called it), and put it next to the “WARM-DRY” sign he made. The Aeonium decorum (“tree houseleek”, that Hoseok decided was the first plants younger sister), was put next to a new sign - “WARM-SUNNY”. So far, at least judging by the plants’ small cardboard profiles, caring about the greens wouldn’t be a problem.

Then again, they were (apparently) succulents, which were easy to take care of (according to Wikipedia). Still, Hoseok didn’t lose hope – how hard could taking care of a plant be? In the end, he was the only kid who managed to keep his tamagochi alive up until the toy’s battery gave out, back in school.


	6. Homecoming (A.K.A. Pick me pick me pick me up!)

The moon was already way up in the sky, and the apartment building had gotten mostly quiet and dark by the time Hoseok was done sorting. There was dirt and leaves everywhere – the table, the shelves, the floor, even the stove. The room looked like a labyrinth, small sections of the floor visible between groups of plants centered around signs. Hoseok was standing in the middle of it, tired but proud. The signs stuck out of their respective leafy jungle - “WARM- WET”, “WARM – DRY”, “WARM-DARK”, “WARM-SUNNY”, “MILD TEMP.-DARK” - and every pot had a post it, detailing how much water a plant needed. Some included more detailed info like “shower”, “dip in water”, “spray”, “clean leaves with wet cloth”, “needs loads of sun”.

Hoseok yawned, rubbing his neck. The sorting process gave him a weird sense of calmness, even though his mind was racing, picking all the places he would plant the pots to fulfill all the needs and still make the space they were in look good. His socks were damp and dirty, and the air in the apartment was stale and humid and the handles of the clock on the wall have long passed the number 12. But Jung Hoseok was not giving up.

The first group of plants that were to disappear was tagged as “WARM-WET”. Hoseok pulled a dusty metal shelf from the basement, as quietly as he could, and fit it in the corner of the simple white bathroom. Cleaned and covered in greenery, the shabby thing didn’t look half bad. Hoseok was no interior designer (or botanist, or a tea brewer, or a photographer, but that didn’t seem to matter tonight), but he felt the new addition gave the bathroom a more welcoming vibe.

Second pile of plants, the biggest one Hoseok made, was tagged “WARM-SUNNY”. The apartment, in the end, had only 4 windows (and that’s counting the bathroom one, already covered in all the greens). Realistically, Hoseok thought, Yoongi’s room window was off limits too, considering how the latter rarely opened the blinds. The living room window was big, almost ceiling to floor – Hoseok assumed there was a plan to build a balcony there at some point, but for whatever reason the plan was abandoned – which was almost perfect for this scenario. A little maneuvering of the living room furniture provided just enough space for all the taller plants, while all the smaller ones found refuge on the window still in Hoseoks room.

Next up, the “WARM-DARK” pile found it’s place all around Yoongi’s bedroom, fitted between books, CD’s, lenses and photos, while the “MILD TEMP.-DARK” pile, consisting of just a few members, got transferred into the miniature hallway near the entrance. Lastly, “WARM – DRY”, the last group of potted plants, was strategically placed in the kitchen, hidden around the bookshelves in the living room and high on top of a shelf in the hall. Hoseok even made sure to handpick all the herbs that could be used as spice, labeling and leaving them in their respective places, with a future project of a “herb shelf” in mind.

The apartment was in chaos, again, and Yoongi was less than 24 hours away. Hoseok was sure he was going to like the final result, the bright white of the apartment finally contrasted by some color. It was just that, the bright white of the apartment was currently contrasted by black gardening soil and dried leaves. He already cleaned the apartment twice in the last two days, he thought with a sigh, reaching for the mop yet again, that surely meant cleaning it a third time would be easier, right?

It turned out Hoseoks estimate was wrong – although the surfaces were without a speck of dust, they were far from spotless (considering just how many crumbled leaves littered the place). The task could have simply been reduced to a mere vacuum, if Hoseok hadn’t been tipping over pots and leaving small clods of potting soil everywhere, only to step into them later, spreading the evil black goop around the apartment, leaving trails around almost like a snail. Once he was finally finished, on his knees scrubbing the last remnants of the dirt off the floor, the sun had been up for a while. Hoseok didn’t even want to look at his socks, catapulting them straight into the washing machine. He showered, while the floor dried and unrolled the carpet back in its space, next to the sofa. Luckily, the sofas didn’t suffer much damage, the stains Hoseok so diligently tried to scrub off, barely noticeable. Hoseoks body finally touched the soft, warm and welcoming surface of his bed, and without even knowing it he was unconscious, pulled deep into slumber for the first time since he got home.

*** *** ***

At first, Hoseok grumpily moaned at the disturbance, readjusting in his bed. When it didn’t seem to stop, he tried the tactic one more time, vaguely aware of the strange noise coming from somewhere. His body was heavy and his mind was cloudy, but there was something telling him everything isn’t quite right, and that small voice in his head wouldn’t leave him alone. He opened his eyes, temporarily completely lost to who he is, where he is and what’s happening, before the sound came again. He drowsily rubbed his eyes, reaching under the covers for his phone.

Hoseok made the mistake of beaming the light of his screen straight in his face, the dark in his room making it even worse – when did the night fall? – and after a brief moment of blinding pain from the light, he could finally comprehend his surroundings a little bit better.

The time on his phone read 18.39. 29 messages, 3 missed calls. Hoseok sighed, sliding his finger over the screen. He needed some food and some strong black tea. He was so tired, he might even have to go for his ultimate enemy – The Coffee – if he was ever going to get out of this bed properly.

Min Suga – 16.45  
ya, my train should be here around 7  
can you pick me up?  
nd i s2g hoseok if you reply with that ioi song

Min Suga – 16.46  
i will end you

Min Suga – 17.20  
where are you?

Min Suga – 17.25  
ya  
Jung Hoseok  
yaaaaAAaaaAAAAaAa  
no srs i need an answer  
my mom packed like 3279 bags of food

Min Suga – 17.26  
r u alive?

Min Suga – 17.30  
ok  
im gonna assume ur napping  
hmu when ur awake

Min Suga – 18.03  
hoseOooOOOooooOOKKKKK

Min Suga – 18.15  
u aren’t answering the calls  
i need ur hlep  
*help

Min Suga – 18.23  
h  
o  
Min Suga – 18.25  
S  
E  
o  
k

Min Suga – 18.34  
r u asleep?  
u sound asleep?  
i called, did u answer in ur sleep?

Min Suga – 18.35  
fine ill figure it out on my own the train is almost here anyway  
sweet dreams u dikc

Hoseok sighed, rubbing his face. If he could get a cab right away, he could make it to the station in twenty-ish minutes. That is, if he manages to get up from bed first.

Hobi :) – 18.40  
I’ll pick you up  
sorry

Min Suga – 18.40  
so the diva is up?

Hobi :) – 18.40  
I’ve had a rough few days

Hoseok pulled on his jacket and shoes simultaneously, while his phone pinged to announce another text.

Min Suga – 18.41  
miss me?

Min Suga – 18.42  
sry  
is everything ok?

Hobi :) – 18.42  
Yeah, don’t worry  
I just had a minor accident  
And then I

Hoseok ran down the stairs and into the street, hailing for a cab – in a completely fortunate turn of events, managing to find one immediately. The gods writing his fate were just keen on getting him to the station in time, Hoseok figured. His phone pinged a few more times.

Min Suga – 18.42  
nd  
?  
hoseok are you hurt?

Hobi :)– 18.43  
No, no, nothing like that  
Don’t worry  
I just had a shopping trip that had an unexpected result

Min Suga – 18.43  
y am i scared  
what did you do?

Hobi :) – 18.44  
I’ll explain when we get home?

Min Suga – 18.44  
oh god…


	7. Welcome to the jungle (A.K.A. a fern that wanned a piece of Yoongi )

The station was unusually busy, at least for what Hoseok was used to. Sure, there were always people coming and going, but never before was Hoseok hit in the shin by an angry old lady squeezing past him – or at least trying to – while waiting in front of the terminal. Sucking up the pain, Hoseok figured the people weren’t as much of a problem, as were their bags. Apparently all the mothers of South Korea had made it their personal goal to send as much food as humanly possible with their child. It was almost as if there was an unspoken competition. Hoseok spotted Yoongi, under his huge duffel bag and fluffy winter jacket. He looked tiny and strained, as if he was going to topple over the bag he was trying to carry in his hands. Weary of any other mean old ladies aiming for his shin, Hoseok made it over to the shorter man, lending a helping hand.

They didn’t exactly talk until they found themselves back in the street. Not that Yoongi wasn’t dying to know what Hoseok had done, but the crowd of people pushing and pulling from all directions made it impossible to focus on anything else but escaping this place. The street, while slightly less chaotic, wasn’t exactly empty either. There was a death match going on for the cabs, and he nearby bus stop was littered with humans. While both of them were pushing on the last of their strength, the only viable option of getting home seemed to be walking at least part of the way.

Hoseok decided to take the chance and prepare Yoongi for the apartment scene in the meantime. He debated just straight up telling him, but soon gave up the idea (no matter how full the streets were, Yoongi could always lure him to an alley and dispose of him in a dumpster after all). He decided to tiptoe around the subject for the time being, to test out the waters.

“So, how was your trip?”  
“Fine,” Yoongi huffed, somewhere in the depths of his fluffy winter jacket hoodie “I had a good time at home. Mom wouldn’t stop asking about my work.”  
“They’re still…” Hoseok picked his words with extreme care. It wasn’t really his business anyway, but he knew Yoongi’s parents weren’t actually thrilled about him perusing his dream of becoming a professional photographer – why risk your future on something like that, if you’re sure to make a living as a business man or a doctor? Hoseok understood the worry - it was logical, at the least – but he also couldn’t shake the thought that the Min Yoongi he knew would wilt, had he listened to his parents. He was pure passion, and as much as he tried to sell himself off as a stone cold (and motionless) person, there was a fire burning in him. Hoseok guessed Yoongi’s parents saw it too – from what he knew, they didn’t agree with Yoongi, but they also didn’t stop him either, showing support to the extent of respecting but openly disagreeing with his choice. Yoongi said he was fine with it, and he would just have to prove them wrong, and even though things seemed a little tense between them, Hoseok figured it was working out. If anyone could prove them wrong, it would (for goddamn sure) be Min Yoongi. “…they’re still um- worried?”  
“Ehh… you know my mom. She wishes things were different, but she can’t exactly change them. It’s always push and pull with her.”  
Hoseok patted Yoongi’s back, in the lack of words.  
“I brought home tons of food tho” Yoongi shrugged  
“The fridge can already barely be closed.”  
“That’s what you say now, but when we invite the kids over you’ll see it empty before you know it”  
“God, investing in their food is like throwing money into a black hole…” Hoseok laughed “anyway, mom says hi. She packed you and the guys some stuff.”  
“Christmas presents from your mom?”  
“Ehh…” Hoseok repeated mockingly “you know my mom.”  
“Didn’t you get back like… two days ago?” Yoongi ignored his mocking tone.  
“Yeah, yeah… barely got back with all the things I was carrying too… had no knight in shining armor to carry my bags.” Yoongi barked a laugh  
“World is really going to shit, if YOU are my knight in shining armor, you need two days of sleep to rejuvenate from carrying a few bags”  
This time Hoseok was the one to find himself offended.  
“I cleaned the apartment like 3 times since I came back you undersized ass, you should be grateful to have a flat mate like me!”  
“Three times…?!” Yoongi laughed  
“Yeah, when you left I kinda… camped out in front of the TV for a while and stuff… left a mess… and…” Hoseok stuttered “…and stuff”  
Yoongi was about to ask about it, when Hoseok hailed the cab, a bit too squeaky and high pitched to sound innocent. Yoongi weighed all the options: a flood, a house fire… maybe he broke an appliance? He seemed more guilty than a man who broke a microwave though. It couldn’t have been Yoongi’s laptop, since it was safely tucked away somewhere in his bags, his camera with it-

“Hoseok did you fuck up my lens?!”  
“What-“  
“My new lens” Yoongi almost yelled, emphasizing each syllable with a poke to Hoseoks chest “did you fuck it up?!”  
“What-no? Where do you get that from?!”  
“Jung Hoseok” Yoongi sounded more and more ominous, and Hoseok was glad they were in a cab. He really (really!) wouldn’t like to be disposed of in a trash can. “we both know you’ve been acting guilty all night. If you did something to my lens – if you did something so I can’t use it anymore – I. will. end. you.”  
Hoseok tried to smile innocently. He managed to pull a half smile, that looked more as if he was forced to suck on lemons, but he decided that would do.  
“No, your lens is fine, I promise”

Yoongi hummed, still suspicious of Hoseoks behavior. The rest of the ride home was silent.

Hoseok was the first to break the silence, jumping between Yoongi and the door, just as the latter was about to go in.  
“Be-before you come in” Hoseok sighed “I… um… there was an accident.” Yoongi raised his eyebrow, letting Hoseok continue “well… there was an accident and I did some redecorating”  
“What did you burn this time?”  
“Another kettle” Hoseok admitted in shame, staring at his feet. Yoongi burst out laughing.  
“I’m not even gonna ask how, honestly. You’re a man of some talents, but cooking is not one of them. It’s not even the first time you burn a kettle Hoseok, why so upset about it?”  
“Well it’s not just-“ Hoseok tried, but Yoongi already pushed past him, and right into the leaves of a Lemon Button plant. He almost fought the plant, before he realized he wasn’t being attacked. If nothing, he was the attacker. Hoseok turned on the lights, in hopes that Yoongi doesn’t punch the poor plant in self-defense.

“You bought a plant?” Yoongi asked, half curious, half wondering why it was such a big deal. And then he saw it. He was the living room window, now mostly covered by leaves. He saw the shelves covered in long lazy lines of green, with small lighter green blobs plopped every now and then on the length, lying on the surface like long hair spread on a pillow. He saw the hallway, and the way some of the plants stood dangerously close to the edge of their already unstable shoe cabinet. He saw an outline of the old rusty shelf from the basement, that mixed with the shadowy shapes of what he could assume was even more plants. He saw little floor beneath his feet – most of which was occupied by plants.

“Hoseok it’s like a maze in here.”  
“I know I just – the apartment was too empty…?”  
“So you turned it into a greenhouse?” Hoseok shrugged. Somehow, Yoongi seemed less angry and more amused by the situation than Hoseok expected.  
“I have so many questions” Yoongi started “most of which start with a why.”

Hoseok slipped into the apartment, carefully treading around what little space was left by the plants and Yoongi. In all honesty, with the sobriety that was brought by leaving the place for a while, he could see how it may seem like he went a little nuts.

 

“A little nuts?” Yoongi replied barely withholding laughter, when Hoseok repeated the same thing to him “Hoseok, you put potted plants on the armchair and dining table”  
“I heard Europeans often put plants on their dining table” Hoseok tried  
“I doubt even Europeans put six fully grown potted plants on their dining table Hoseok. There’s a plant on my bed”  
“You have a double bed- no one even uses the other side”  
Yoongi rubbed his eyes, carefully creeping his way into the living room. He wanted a drink, but the long fern plant on top of the fridge proved to be an impossible obstacle. The plant next to it – what Yoongi recognized as an orchid – balanced on the very edge of the fridge, too, and Yoongi was sure to knock it over had he tried to do more than look longingly at the fridge.

“I still don’t understand why?” Yoongi asked  
Hoseok sighed. “I…I burned Pipin”  
“A what?”  
“Pipin, your cactus, I accidentally burned it with the kettle and… look I know you were going to use it as a model or whatever, but Pipin is all charred and his flowers burned off and… I couldn’t just burn your model plant so I wanted to buy you another one but then there was none so I bought plants that are small and intricate so you can… photograph them I guess… I got a little carried away and… I’m sorry”  
“Small and intricate” Yoongi repeated, looking at the house palm tree blocking most of the view from the living room window.  
“It – it has these lines – it’s like a pattern if you come really close – Im sorry, I just didn’t want to ruin your time I guess.”  
“You know some of these are going to have to go, right?”  
“You aren’t mad?”  
“It was just a cactus, Hoseok.”  
“Not mad about this jungle?”  
“You’re right, the apartment was empty. I hope you didn’t name all of them though”


End file.
